Complex Body
I had the privilege of being interviewed by my friend Nicole Kalbermatten from NWFL, she has a way of getting me to think through my theoretical process and I thought it would be fun to share in this platform too.
Tell us about your trauma informed yoga work.
Trauma informed simply means that “all bodies are welcome” and there is room for your process to look different from someone else’s. Consent is everything, the yoga facilitator offers postures as options to try on, remember that you have the freedom to take or leave anything that doesn’t fit for you. Permission to make the practice something that works for where your body is, means if you need to linger in a shape longer because you’re feeling benefits or modify that posture so it is more comfortable for what you’re dealing with bodily (maybe injuries, different abilities, or trauma memories associated with curtain positions). The body holds a lot of memory and often times shame and distrust is correlated with reconnecting with the body, because one might remember more of what their body has endured.
Yoga in many ways is like a moving meditation, where you’re integrating the use of mind-body connexion. There’s a sweet interplay and dance that happens as you reconnect and explore to your body’s edges through unique sensory based forms of expression.
What are some of the different ways you see domestic violence present itself?
I’ve seen domestic violence show up across the board, it does not discriminate against race, age, gender, sexual orientation or socioeconomic status. It is a when (emotional and physical) violence is an active component of the communication dynamic in close familial/relational bonds. It is when elements of power and control are used to disempower and manipulate another person’s sense of self or well-being, arousal and degradation are often always fused. Safety becomes compromised and accessing one’s voice feels very frightening or risky. Over time this dynamic can move beyond traumatizing into a toxic abuse structure or cycle that becomes demoralizing. It’s difficult to get out of that loop or cycle of abuse because oftentimes when a sophisticated abuser had gained access to their victim, the victim takes on more ownership for the abuse than is healthy. In essence they bear the brunt of the brawl, in some twisted way buying into a lie that they “deserved this cruel and unpredictable mistreatment.”
How can movement integration help work through ptsd or anxiety? Talk to us about preverbal states, or places where people stop having access to words.
Movement integration is valuable because it works with the body rather than against it. I like to think of the body as an ally and friend rather than fighting against its natural instincts or inclinations. That being said I’m aware that “the body has no narrative” so it has difficulty sometimes with reality testing, distinguishing between real and perceived threat(s). For example, if I were to see a chord that looked similar to a snake my “fear response” might kick-in and activate all the same hormones and chemical reactions in the body needed for the sympathetic nervous system (fight or flight) to be engaged and ready to work to keep me safe. With PTSD it’s difficult to turn this off, because the body often lives in a hyper or hypo aroused state. What served you once might not always be serving you now. The ability to access language or cognitive functioning is almost impossible when you’re in the lizard brain and the hippocampus goes offline.
One simple thing I do if someone is in a dissociative or activated state is to pause because it’s not helpful to keep engaging story or narrative when someone is feeling trapped in one of the many “states of being” that trauma can activate. Instead, I work towards inviting them to engage their body differently. I have “thinking putty” if someone has busy hands and needs to mold something instead of moving towards self-harm or contempt. I sometimes invite them towards breath-work or even walking around mindfully, being aware of the reminder that they are not trapped. It really depends on the moment or what the situation seems to be asking for. I’m simply there to hold space, be a witness and help co-regulate a person to get them back to the present moment at a pace that feels gentle yet still anchoring.
How people might ascribe to a core belief about themselves because of trauma?
It’s in those moments of suffering trauma that it’s easy to bond to unhelpful core beliefs subconsciously without even realizing it. That’s why the healing work of therapy is so important to engage well and consistently to better uncover these core concepts or loops that are in place. One example might be buying into the belief about ones worth, value or capabilities. Maybe latching onto an idea like “I’m stupid.” I’ve worked with many people who know on a cognitive level that they’re capable and successful in x, y, z but on a core level might have a belief structure in place that’s primarily rooted in trauma narratives that may need to be addressed and more thoroughly engaged to find rest and comfort in a new realization. Until you start untangling some of these core narratives that get embedded in the psyche, they often will creep in or play out in relationship because we manifest what we most deeply believe.
Talk to us about being an ally to one’s body, especially in places where one might feel shame or self-sooth in harmful ways. You work with many addictions that correlate to harm. Talk to us about empowering people to try something different.
Self soothing in harmful ways might look like turning to an eating disorder, self harm through cutting, patterns of addictions to codependent relationships or even substance abuse. All of these things function and serve a role but don’t always get at the core wound in a loving, nurturing way, many times it accentuates the problem instead of alleviating the issue (even if at times there is a felt sense of relief experienced, although short-lived).
You are your best advocate for knowing what you need, but you have to work with your body instead of against it. Meaning, numbing-out might seem appealing at times, when in actuality it disconnects you from what you really need or want in those vulnerable moments. Instead I invite you to pause and come into contact with a felt sense of awareness by being curious with what is surfacing for you. Maybe feelings of sadness or grief might be bubbling up and these are more difficult feelings to stay with. Find ways to be kind to yourself with where you’re at instead of ignoring, shutting down or tuning out. Make sure to do this work with someone who cares, finding a good fit with a therapist or healing community is essential. You don’t have to figure it out on your own, we’re wired for connection.