Cultural Identity
Cultural identity is shaped by more than our heritage, the food we eat, music we resonate with and environments we are raised in. Taiye Selasi has a beautiful Ted Talk that touches more on this topic. She challenges people to dig deeper when saying, “Don’t ask me where I’m from, ask me where I’m local to.” Today we get the honor of speaking with Oliver he’s an Ecuadorian American, born and raise in Brooklyn, New York. He moved to Seattle about a year ago and his interests lie in sports, reading and traveling. In his spare time he enjoys flamenco dancing, having in depth conversations and learning about different cultures.
What cultural contexts and identity development have shaped you into the resilient person you are today? “The way parents raise their kids depending on where they’re from is so different and I think for me my parents were strict, so that definitely shaped me into who I am. Moving here and being exposed to so many American people I’ve seen how there’s more leniency in upbringing, at times letting kids get away with things a lot more frequently. Having parents who are minorities, I feel they have a different desire to see their kids succeed and do well, so it’s even more strict to a certain extent. On that same token I’ve noticed in my culture “family” is one of the core values that I hold close. Going back home making sure I take care of my mom, my dad, my grandma to a point where I think it’s a duty. I feel like it’s 90% positive and 10% obligation and ultimately I want to do it.”
When you think of home what sensory experiences are activated, whether it be savoring a delicious meal prepared with love, enjoying soulful music, or cultural values and roots that make you feel grounded? “Definitely enjoying a savory meal. Yapingacho! It’s this dish with potato patties and cheese in it, with peanut butter sauce and there’s rice, with meat and a salad aspect to the dish. All these dishes from South America have been passed down for generations from mountain people who would have to eat these huge meals to be able to scale up and down the mountains. Every dish that’s traditional to South America are these big plates! So if you ever go to a Peruvian or Columbian restaurant you’ll get a huge dish, compared to European meals. Also the music is so lively and joyful! I remember my dad came to this country not knowing much English so he would have us to listen to American music, like Soul or Jazz, also a lot of Marvin Gaye and the Temptations. That’s essentially how my dad learned English! So part of what brings me home is the music from that time. Not just Spanish music, but it’s that old soulful music that I grew up around. Home means New York and New York doesn’t have to just resonate with hispanic culture. It’s super diverse, I had friends from Gahanna, India, Afghanistan, Israel. So all of the dishes from these cultural identities I can also resonate with and they remind me of home. I don’t think home just has to be related to my culture but also the things I grew up with.”
Does a moment(s) come to mind where you have felt other-ed by micro or macro aggressions, whether impacted by people's white fragility, cultural ignorance or even racial tensions that have brought harm or dissonance to your internal sense of safety and comfort? “I think because I am lighter skinned, there does come a sense of privilege and I am aware of that. I have felt other-ed when I moved here. In New York you’re labeled as a minority, but you don’t feel it because you’re surrounded by so many other minorities. When I moved here was when I felt for the first time that I was a minority. Growing up, I never had any white friends and I say this with 100% certainty. It was mostly people from other countries, like the Middle East or even Europe. Their skin may have been light but they weren’t white-American. So moving here, I initially came to be with a white American partner and my first day in Seattle I was at a birthday party with her family and I realized I was the only hispanic person there. It’s weird because it was my first time ever interacting with that many white-American people and I just didn’t know what to do. Regardless of how anyone treated me, I was just used to being in a melting pot, so this experience felt foreign to me. I remember one time I ended up sweeping something off the floor and cleaning up after myself and my ex-girlfriend’s relative said something along the lines of, “Yeah, sweep that floor like a brown person.” Well, that was the first time I’ve experienced something like that, so I laughed out of embarrassment and uncomfortability. It’s directed at me, my family and people I know even if he denied it was a racist remark.”
If you could cast a vision for a more inclusive and curious, socially structured world what would that look like? “There has to be some knowledge and understanding of how people who are born in America can be so different from than other Americans. I can encourage people to travel to different cities for exposure, but that requires money and time. It’s also not as simple as learning about it in a text book. One thing people can do is be more open in their environments because a lot of people like to stick with their homogenized groups and be comfortable with what they know. A lot of people like to seclude themselves to their own group(s), reaching out to people who don’t look like you or sound like you is important! That’s a start to making people aware to the fact that people like me feel this way. I don’t even know if that’s possible unless people step outside of their comfort zone(s) and experience that. A small microcosm of it is the Seattle Freeze, people often feel comfortable with who they know, who they’ve grown up with and are not necessarily reaching out to other people. So I think people with that mentality will never really know what people like me feel. But I do think those who are open to step outside of their comfort zone(s) are already on a path to learning and hearing the experiences of someone different and be super empathetic. But that’s very rare! That’s like racism, there’s not a silver bullet to answer every question and that sucks!”
What mentalities and biases do you think need to shift in order for people to make space for more meaningful cross-racial dialogue to happen and be more dialed in to hear stories of the adverse impact of various forms oppression? “American born people who have English as their first language I’ve noticed that they tend to phase out people who are speaking, as if it comes with some lack of credibility. It’s almost as if what you’re saying has to be proven somehow. I experienced that with my parents, especially with my mom who doesn’t really speak English that well. Seeing her interact with other people and going to grocery stores, experiencing how people seem to just care less or don’t necessarily pay any mind to what she’s saying. They just want to get their task done and don’t care about the context of what she’s saying. I think that's one of the biggest biases found in a lack cultural awareness, just because someone speaks differently than you doesn’t mean that they lack a certain knowledge. That’s why I try to check myself, because growing up I used to think that knowing two languages wasn’t enough. It felt like that’s something that anybody can do, but it’s something that’s remarkable! I mean shifting your brain and being able to think and speak in two different languages and read and feel emotion and express yourself in two different languages. You can connect to so many different people and I think people who grow up only speaking one language have a difficult time empathizing with others who have different experiences. But then again that might be one of my biases. I think that’s one of the biggest biases, ‘that just because I don’t speak English well doesn’t mean that I lack credibility.’ Also, there’s stereotypes with Hispanics specifically with dancing. Or even thinking that Asians are smart, that’s not all they’re known for there can be other interests at play. I think for people to get rid of biases they have to first be willing to let go of stereotypes. Which is hard because it is engrained in American’s in particular.”
What character traits or attributes do you carry that you are most proud of? Feel free to take this concept in whatever direction feels most authentic to you. “I’d say definitely language and I feel like that’s something I’ve come to love recently! It feels like it’s an honor to speak to different people primarily because you know a second language. I think that’s one thing that I carry with me that I’m proud of. My lack of experience sometimes feels like a negative, but I’m also thankful for it because it’s kept me curious. Now all I want to do is travel because I didn't do that when I was younger. It begs the question, do you have to “not” have these experiences when you’re younger to stay curious or is it just a muscle that continuously over the years you allow yourself to re-experience? Also, how close I feel towards my family spills over into my friendships and other relationships too. I think that’s something that not everyone can access or feel, so it’s something I carry with me that’s very rooted in my cultural upbringing. I’m proud that I can express those emotions and make other people feel joyful! I’m so glad that I dance, not just to cultural songs but to many varieties of music. I was raised dancing and I love to release energy in that way and not care about what anyone else thinks.”